I am finally feeling like things are getting better. I feel like I am opening my heart more to God and listening to what he wants for my life. This has me changing some of my priorities and routines, but it feels good in my heart, so I must be on the right track. 

I have been feeling so very pulled in every direction and not being able to do what I feel I should be doing. I truly want to be the keeper of my home and family. I realize I must also maintain my fulltime employment while doing this. So my priorities have to be family and work and that is all I really can manage at this time. So after much deliberation and soul searching I decided to stop attending my Wednesday night bible study. Now each Wednesday night while Erik is at church, it will be Momma/Tommy night. I feel like I am missing out too much on the most important time of Tommy’s life. He is unable to attend the Wednesday night activities at our church as you have to be in Kindergarten to attend classes and he refuses to go into the nursery. So last night I told him that we were going to start having a Momma/Tommy night and he’s response? “Yes..that will be the best day ever!!” So that made me know I am doing the right thing, he needs more time with me as I do with him. He is my last baby, so this is my last season as a parent of a preschooler. My place is at home with him on Wednesday nights. 

I asked him what he would like to do. And he said, a project. He described the project he wants to make and it sounds like Valentine’s people or something. He said he just need red paper and glue. Easy enough. We are going to put together a new puzzle and start a new Magic Treehouse Chapter book, Midnight on the Moon by Mary Pope Osborne.   We love the Magic Treehouse series and have many of them!!  I also have a number of Magic School Bus books I want to get out this weekend for Tommy.  We are moving up in our reading and his interests are expanding. 

I am still feeling a bit overwhelmed, but I know I am on the right track of making my heart feel good about my choices.   Yesterday I got up early to make a treat for the boys,  Cinnamon Biscuits.   I found this recipe on Preschoolers and Peace website.  I did decide to buy the Motivated Moms Planner.  Kendra has a picture of the planner on her site if you want to see it.  It seems to be working pretty good for me so far.  I like it.  I have the weeks sheet on a clipboard on the kitchen counter and I can cross stuff off as I do it.  Another resource I found on Kenrda’s site that I plan on buy on Friday is Picture Book Preschool.  It looks like it will be fun to do with Tommy.  We love to read that is for sure.  Especially in the winter, we curl up in bed and read.  Another great book Tommy and I have been reading each night is, “Helping Kids Live God’s Way: Right Choices” by Kenneth Taylor.  I think I might have found this book on MVCountryRoads blog.  You are all such great resources to me!!

WORK

It is budget time again and I have not caught up for the last round of budgets for the previous program.  On top of my regular work, I have had alot of crises to deal with, legal issues, suicide and fire destroying a family’ home.  The worse part is I do love my job, but it is becoming a bit unmanageable.  I work over 40 hours every week and still don’t feel like I am getting my head above the water.  I hope things calm a bit in the summer for me to catch up a bit.  My supervisor is pretty understanding, but I don’t want to push that.   I have had to take alot of work off due to kid related stuff.  I feel bad, but I have had to cancel dentist appointments and stuff for Josh and Tommy as I just can’t get out of the office to take them right now.   Not to mention I have not been able to see the Chiropractor about my back in a while either.  I can really tell too.   So I keep plugging away and trying to balance a very demanding job with a desire to do right by my kids and family.   Those are my two priorities right now, everything else will have to wait until I am in a different season of my life. 

Most of my appointments happen from 2:30 until 7:00 as that is when the children are home from school, etc.   As of today, 2/8, I don’t have a single 3:30 appointment left available in February.   I am already scheduling into March!    So I can’t cancel any of my work appointments as I don’t have the time in my schedule to do them at a different time.     I am really struggling with the guilt of not being there for everything for the kids and not being there for my clients/employer!!  I wish there was more of me to go around!  I am trying to work on this…….balance is a great idea, but so hard for me to achieve.   Oh  well….I am thankful for the job and being able to provide for my family. (that is whole another blog that has been on my heart lately)

TOMMY

My little guy is doing well.   He is so much fun.   We have finally figured out where he will be going to school in September.  He will be at the Christian School at our church.  We looked into Full-Day Kindergarten at the school district but they wanted us to pay almost as much as his tuition at the private school to add on the other half of the day for him.   They also wouldn’t offer any additional academics in the other half of the day.   It is a better deal for him to go to the christian school.  He will have additional academics, which he needs since he already reads and does simple math prior to starting Kindergarten.   The Christian School offers piano lessons, computer, language immersion and religion.   The class size in guaranteed to be only 20 in the Christian school.   It is very bittersweet for me, my baby going to school.   I am so glad he can go to private school, but it means he is growing up and that is sad for me.  My last baby……off to Kindergarten…..

ERIK

Erik has been doing better the last few days.  He is slowly earning things back from his Dad.   He still struggles with rules in all environments that is for sure.   I have been having a harder and harder time to find people to be at our house with him after school.  Josh now has a class that doesn’t end until after 3:00.  Luckily most of Josh’s friends are college students and want the extra money, which of course is an added expense, but what can you do.  I hope things all click together soon for Erik. 

JOSH

School seems to be going well for Josh.  I am trying to let him live his life with little interference while he is still living at home.  I don’t have a curfew for him, but would like to know when he will be home.  He chooses to not attend church at times and sleep.  That is what college is for….so I think he is liking his new independence.  He is still extremely helpful to me.  He watches the younger kids very frequently and will do chores around the house.  Sometimes without me even asking!    He is a joy to have at home…..gotta love the boy.  The best part is we have been having Family Movie Night every Friday night and he is always here for it and sometimes a few of his friends come too.  It is nice that they will hang out with us. 

PETS

In addition to canceling my kids non emergency appointments, I have been canceling the cat ones tooo!  Argh..I was suppose to have Robbie back in for another Glucose Curve this week and I just can’t fit it in.  I will take him next week.  He is still sick, they want to increase his insulin.  He is vomiting, but not as much.   I have some rugs to shampoo this weekend though.   I have been doing pretty good about giving him his 2 insulin shots each day.  I wrote in on my Motivated Moms Planner and that helps.  

YESTERDAY

I headed right to work after dropping off Tommy at Preschool.  I was home from work by just a bit after 6:00 which is good for me!!  I have my first budget started and will finish it up today.   I stayed home with Tommy and we had our first Tommy/Mommy night.   We played Valentine Bingo and made a Valentine project.  Daddy and Amy even played Bingo with us.  Tommy won!!   Then Daddy gave him a bath while I did my quick things around the house and then I laid down with Tommy for him to go to sleep.  I fell asleep in his bed and didn’t wake for an hour or so.  I stumbled to my bed then and crashed for the night.  

TODAY

I am working from home this morning.  I HAVE TO get my time reporting done today!!!   That is an issue at my work so I need to really get caught up.   So that is what I will do his morning and then at 1:30 I have to pick up my Inlaws to take them to a meeting.   Things seem to be settling down with them and they are getting into a regular routine now that my MIL is home from the nursing home.   I still help with alot of paperwork and financial things.  So that will be my afternoon. 

TOMORROW

Tommy has preschool in the morning.   They are suppose to have a sledding party, but I think it will be too COLD!!  The high for today is only 9 degrees I think.  But , hey at least it is above 0!!   I have a couple of appointments on Friday from 11 until about 4:30 and then home for Family Movie Night.   We are watching the School of Rock and making a huge sandwich with Chip and Dip.  I need to bake the bread tonight for it!!  I better write that down, I will never remember that!!  

THE WEEKEND….

Not much planned except to get out taxes done on Saturday.   Exciting, eh. 

Well time for me to kick it into high gear and get doing some time reporting.  Have a great day!!!!